I talked about chasing butterflies a couple of days ago. It’s my New Year’s Resolution. I don’t normally make a New Year’s resolution. I know that people (very much me) grow and change so much in a year that it’s hard for me to wrap my head around an overarching goal. I’m also a detail oriented person so I sometimes have trouble with big picture, abstract ideas. And I’m a problem solver so setting a resolution sometimes feels like I’m going out to solve a problem and I’d prefer to solve that problem right away rather than take the whole year to do it. It’s not the most logical thought process, but it helps to explain my weird wacky brain.
My friend set a resolution - pardon me - an intention for the year. She was inspired by Michelle Obama’s book Becoming. She liked the idea that we’re always growing and becoming who we are and that who we are is not set in stone. So her intention for the year is “becoming.” She encouraged me to do the same. But I didn’t want to.
It felt a little forced to find a word and stick to it when it’s not my mindset in general. But then Jerry Seinfeld came along with his Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee show and changed my mind. I’d been watching a lot of stand up comedy because it was all I was really emotionally capable of handling. Comedy movies were too hard because everyone was falling in love and happy. Dramas were too heavy and made me feel sad. Stand Up comedy is great because they tell you sad things in a funny way - just what I needed.
I was watching an episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee and Seinfeld had Brian Regan as a guest. They were driving in a convertible chatting. I was probably absent-mindedly listening while scrolling through my Instagram feed. But Brian Regan said something that connected with me and I had to stop and rewind. Scratch that. I had to stop, put my phone down, scramble to find the remote, try to make it work (those Apple TV remotes are tricky), rewind, oops I went too far, watch, rewind again and get my phone ready, press play and record, rewatch and send to all friends. Here’s what Brian Regan says:
“Ya know the butterflies? I always say that the things you remember in life
are the things that happen right after you have butterflies, so you should never
avoid the butterflies because those are the memory makers.”
I’ve rewatched the video probably twenty times. Just listening to the simplicity of what he says and how perfect he makes it sound. It’s not complicated and it’s not a problem to solve and it doesn’t seem like something that’s out of my normal path. It’s sounds like a goal.
So, this year, I’m chasing butterflies.